Bad Dreams of our Founding Fables

I’ve been having bad dreams lately. Mostly when it’s just me and my son at night while Jamie is working. It’s the kind of dreams where you can’t tell you ever fell asleep…everything in your room looks exactly the same you don’t even remember closing your eyes. Last night I fell asleep next to my son and I started to feel something cold on the back of my head and I could sense the bedroom door opening but I couldn’t turn around to look. It felt like my consciousness was being sucked out the back of my skull and then the door started to close and the cold went with it and I was able to wake up. I was a little disoriented but was able to get back to sleep again only this time the cold was around me and the sound of the air conditioner was getting louder and louder almost unbearable. I could sense the cold behind me so I was able to turn around this time and I saw a dark shadow outline of an old lady even darker then my lightless room on the wall. I was able to pull out of this one as well but wasn’t able to really get back to sleep until Jamie came home from work. I think it could all be from the anxiety and fear I have of any harm coming to my son...because he’s all I can think about while I’m dreaming…hoping he’s safe.


Sometimes I think all my life to this point is my mind making up a life for me while I’m falling to the floor dead. I think maybe I’m still that teenager with the 4-10 Shotgun in his mouth except this time my finger slipped or the gun went off accidentally and my mind (what’s left of it) is creating this life for me. Like when people die and come back and say they’ve seen heaven or hell. Just there mind easing them into some kind of transition…helping them cope with the loss of themselves…an in-flight movie perhaps. A lifetime in the fraction of a second…what is time…what time is it? It’s what I’m killing right now so I don’t have to have anymore of these crazy dreams.

I can’t stop listening to the new Sally CD Long Live the New Flesh. You can check them out at www.myspace.com/sally It’s one of those rare moments where you feel like someone wrote a record just for you.

“Oh my God you don’t know…the way out of here”