Don't go where I can't follow

It’s not a tea party. It seems like there is always dirt in my eye causing them to itch or burn with dryness. It hits you like a punch in the stomach, a memory, youth screaming mad in parents car plowing through friends that you’ll never have again. You realize how much time has passed cruising slowly down a snow wet street listening to sports talk radio. I used to destroy my own image in a mirror and throw empty bottles out the second floor window not even bothering to smile as they became a potential hazard to small children.

I would dream of snakes biting me and leaving me for dead, now I have repeat nightmares of break-ins and debilitating disease. A sour stomach remains but so much more a problem than in the past, can’t just shove it under the mattress in the back of my mind anymore.

I’m always looking for something to inspire me but the only thing that ever has is misery, when a mans only inspiration is misery, he ends up miserable. Shots in the dark on a cold Midwest night and I’m feeling old, my face haggard, hairy and tense. I feel every step I make these days so I step with caution and foresight…two things I never knew I had.